Monday, November 14, 2011

He makes me smile

Time is flying as you can see from how long it’s been since my last post.

My little guy is 16 months old now and I am completely in love with him. He has the best little personality, complete with a range of emotions from happy to sad to angry and everything in between.

He started daycare a couple of months ago and it was terrible. He wailed and screamed for almost 2 weeks straight at daycare. It broke my heart. I was a wreck all day at work and counted the minutes till I could go “rescue” him. He was so upset about being left by me that he was a disaster all day, every day. I wish I could tell him, hey, I sympathize; I was a wreck when my mom used to leave me at school for the first while and an even bigger wreck later in life when she passed away! It never gets easier, my little friend!

The lady who runs the daycare almost kicked him out after a week because she had never seen such a bad transition and said I’d have to hire a private nanny or quit my job and stay home with him. And then one day, he turned and everything was fine. He realized he could have fun all day and that I would faithfully come pick him up every afternoon. A huge sigh of relief from me…

Now, he is having a great time at daycare and I have adjusted to being back at work. I absolutely love the time I spend with him in the morning before work, the afternoons & evenings and weekends. I love to see him smile & wave bye when I drop him off in the morning at daycare and I love to see his face when I arrive to pick him up after work. It’s fascinating to see all the little things he’s learned that day, which brings me to the title of this post…

He makes me smile. He does things to impress, entertain and mimic me. It’s absolutely fascinating to have this little person who is so dependent on you and can’t even really talk or walk yet going out of his way to get a reaction from me. It makes me smile larger and with a sweeter feeling than I’ve ever experienced before. This is love, someone told me. I smile, laugh and/or clap at him and he beams back at me. He is so happy to see my reaction. We have connected and have so much fun together.

On the flipside, he also gets into mischief sometimes and I have to say “no” to him. What a sad little face he puts on! And sometimes, he even looks away in shame. It breaks my heart and I have to try so hard not to smile and give him a mixed message.

So this is what it feels like to be on the “other side” as a mom and not a child. It’s an amazing experience and I am so thankful to be having it.

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